


Absolute Dependent Motion Analysis of Two Particles

by feverbeats



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 21:24:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feverbeats/pseuds/feverbeats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just don't have any social skills," Bruce says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolute Dependent Motion Analysis of Two Particles

"So, on a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate me?" Tony asks.

They're in a car (Tony's car) driving away from Thor's scientifically improbable departure. Every item of clothing Bruce is wearing belongs to Tony. This is not a great time for Tony's question.

"Eight," Bruce says, rounding up. Tony should appreciate a thoughtful response, at least.

Tony winces and then laughs. He's driving without looking a the road. Bruce's heart-rate speeds up.

"Want to stay with me for a while?" Tony asks, and it speeds up more.

*

Bruce says yes, not because he doesn't have anywhere else to go, but because anywhere else he could go is likely to be heavily government-funded. He doesn't care how cool Fury thinks they are, the man's still government, and Bruce isn't as likely as some of the others to forget what that means. He doesn't want to know how many other cages on how many other helicarriers S.H.I.E.L.D. has waiting for him.

Not that Tony's much better. 

His building is already mostly repaired. Bruce is keeping an eye on that sign. Bruce doesn't even want to think about the amount of money going into that, but it helps that Tony's been donating a lot to the relief efforts. That doesn't change the fact that the bedroom he puts Bruce in is the size of six normal bedrooms. Bruce wonders if that was intentional. Tony seems to thrive on making people uncomfortable.

He doesn't sleep. They should all still be exhausted from the battle with Loki, and Bruce _did_ sleep well in the days following, but now all the built-up stress of the weeks before that seems to be coming back. It's the last thing he can afford.

The next morning he has breakfast with Pepper while Tony talks to the press about something. Tony's place is huge, and Bruce, of course, is not remotely at home there. Pepper, though, he can talk to.

"How long have you known him?" he asks her over eggs.

She gives him a quiet, sideways smile. "He's always been like this, if that's what you want to know. Except he used to be worse."

Bruce can't imagine Tony being worse, but he reminds himself of all the times he saw Tony on TV, or read about him at science expos, or saw the damage Tony's weapons did.

"Okay," he agrees. "I can see that."

"How long have you been involved?" he asks after a minute. It's the wrong question and not a very nice one, but he asks it anyway.

Pepper frowns. "I don't know if that's a relevant--" She stops herself, as if she's remembered that he isn't a reporter. "Romantically? Not very long. Emotionally? Years."

"You're a stronger person than I am," Bruce jokes weakly.

"So I hear." She's still frowning, like she's disappointed that Bruce has looked at her and looked at Tony and only seen what everyone else does.

*

Tony comes home around two, looking hassled and pale.

"They're still after our heads for New York," he says by way of a greeting. "As if that was anyone but the government's idea."

Bruce notices that _government_ is a dirty word for Tony, something that's always surprised him. For an apparent conservative and former arms-dealer, Tony isn't exactly what Bruce expects.

"Mm," Bruce says. "So what next?" He's good at sitting around and waiting to be told.

Tony laughs and takes a seat across from Bruce. He's looking pinker already. "Next? Well, you can bet it won't take Fury long to decide he needs us again. As a team. What do you think about that?"

Bruce hates teams. "It'll probably happen," he says.

"Until then, we help rebuild and try to steal as much time as we can to work on our own projects." Tony smiles.

"Business as usual," Bruce says dubiously. He honestly didn't expect Tony to be an introvert.

"Business as usual," Tony agrees.

"And if they decide they don't want a monster helping rebuild their city?"

Tony winces. "Well, they usually decide they want my money, at least."

*

Tony _is_ an introvert. For the next week, Bruce barely sees him. Bruce has an entire floor of Stark Tower to himself, and Tony spends all his time in the basement. It's ideal. Bruce sometimes runs into Tony at meals, but usually even then it's just Pepper and sometimes Happy Hogan, Tony's--something. Driver? PA? Bodyguard? It's not clear.

For what feels like the first time ever, Bruce is around more people like him than _normal people_. Pepper pretends pretty well, but even she is more awkward and brilliant and frantic than she is stable. Happy's normal, but he's used to Tony and Pepper, so Bruce can almost relax around him.

One night they're having pizza in one of Tony's many conference rooms (more like a living room), and Bruce asks, "So, what's Tony's story? Was he just born eccentric?"

Happy raises his eyebrows. "You just cut right to the chase, don't you?"

"I just don't have any social skills," Bruce says.

"Tony had a strange upbringing," Pepper says hesitantly, picking at her pizza with a fork.

"Well, you know how much money his dad had," Happy says.

Pepper laughs and gives him a funny look. "I think that was the most normal thing about it. He just didn't get a lot of attention."

"So now he doesn't know the right way to get it," Bruce says.

Everyone agrees and they go back to their meal, Bruce quietly impressed at how fiercely loyal Tony's friends are. No mention of Obadiah Stane, or Tony's very public coming-out, or his obvious alcoholism and mountain of mental health problems.

*

Not all of Tony's friends are as unwilling to talk about him. James Rhodes, while just as loyal as Pepper and Happy, seems to have a slightly better sense of self-preservation when it comes to being Tony's friend.

He comes to visit when Bruce has been there about two and a half weeks. Tony, as usual, doesn't come up from the basement, and Pepper isn't anywhere to be found, so the first person Rhodes runs into is Bruce.

"Doctor Banner," he says, as soon as he walks into Bruce's workroom.

"Uh," Bruce says.

Rhodes extends his hand. "James Rhodes. You've probably--"

"Heard of you," Bruce agrees, not taking his hand. He's holding two tiny, intricate pieces of a model together. "You're like Tony with inhibitions."

Rhodes' mouth twists. "I'm not actually much like Tony. He around?"

Bruce shakes his head, sighs, and gives up on his model. "He's in his lab. The one in the basement. Good luck getting down there."

"You know what that means, right?" Rhodes asks. When Bruce gives him a little I -don't-care shrug, he goes on, "Tony's upset about what happened with the attack on New York. He's freaked out that people are mad. He's sad that people are dead. He's twitchy because he doesn't know what to do with this team he may or may not be a part of. And he still can't handle being in an adult relationship. So, think you're prepared to live here?"

"I'm just visiting," Bruce says after a second. The corner of his mouth twitches, and Rhodes seems to take that as a good enough answer.

"Good," he says. "Because Tony's usually too much work to be worth it. Just letting you know."

*

That night, Bruce overhears Tony and Pepper fighting. He's got a pretty long list of things he hates, but hearing couples fight is right near the top. (Yes, he's well aware of the reason.)

Bruce tries not to listen. He honestly does. But Tony's voice is rising, taut and unhappy. "I guess Happy's got something I'll never have, huh?"

"Well, he's, he's got a couple of things you don't have." Pepper's voice is clipped and tense, but not hesitant. "He doesn't _hate_ himself. He doesn't lock himself away for weeks at a time with no explanation. Tony, I'm not walking out on you. I'm saying I can't date you. Do you understand that?"

Tony is quiet for a long time. Bruce finds that in itself worrying. He should probably go somewhere else, but they're arguing in the hall between his lab and anything resembling safety. He wonders if he should step out and present them with a polite notice of "you seem to have hit one of my exceptionally bad triggers, please allow me to leave."

Eventually, Tony comes into the lab. Pepper must have left.

"Hi!" Tony says brightly.

"Going to bed," Bruce mutters, gathering an armful of his research. He doesn't want to be involved in this.

"I don't know if she feels bad for me or is way too into me for her own good," Tony says miserably. "I think maybe it's _both_. Never mind, make that past tense."

"I think she still feels bad for you," Bruce says. It's not the right thing to say, probably.

Tony is ignoring him, though. "I don't know have any fucking idea how people work," he says, flinging his arms out expansively.

Bruce is realizing that this is true. "I noticed," he says grudgingly. He sets his things down, resigned. "Uh."

"I know," Tony says. "I know, I'm really drunk."

Oh. Bruce didn't know. He hunches in on himself, doubly upset, doubly eager to escape.

"I know," Tony says again. "It's embarrassing as hell. And my girlfriend just left me for my driver. They're good for each other. I know." He sways and grabs the table. "Fuck."

Bruce Banner _knows_ about dangerous alcoholics.

"If you raise your voice, right now, drunk, I'm going to walk out that door," Bruce says, very quiet and very fast. "But first I'm going to hurt you."

Tony hesitates. "I'm not--"

It doesn't matter what he's going to say. "If you raise your voice, you are."

Tony looks at him. "Then I'll take myself to bed," he says.

*

The next morning, everything seems all right, if a little strained. Tony is actually at breakfast, instead of in his workshop.

Neither he nor Bruce is the kind of person who talks about this kind of thing. Besides, Pepper is out with Happy, and there's not much to say, anyway. They talk about Bruce's work, and Tony's, and the future Tony has planned for the building. Tony's voice is oddly soothing when he talks shop. That manic edge melts into something else, and Bruce can feel something at the base of his skull start to lose focus, drifting on Tony's voice and--

He shakes himself. He can't afford to fall for another scientist with a strong personality. It's a horrible error. And Tony is a much worse person than Betty.

Tony focuses on Bruce over the table, meets his eyes, and grins at him. "I can't make you human," he says.

Bruce half-smiles. "Ditto."

*

They work together for a week or so after that. Tony looks in on Bruce's projects--not all gamma-related--and offers suggestions, Bruce looks over Tony's designs for the new building. Every time, it gets worse. _It_ being the way Tony's voice hooks right into something in Bruce's primal lizard brain and makes him want to zone out and do whatever Tony says. Rationally, he knows this is a fairly stupid idea.

One day, Tony leans over Bruce when they're going over blueprints, and his fingers brush the back of Bruce's hand. Bruce doesn't jump. He's too far in. The touch of Tony's fingers feels remote and pleasant, and Bruce has no idea whether or not to call this a crush.

"I think I should leave," he says. His voice is a little slurred.

Tony leans back, frowning a little. "You know, Pepper and I _did_ break up."

 _And you're clearly not okay with it,_ Bruce wants to say. "Mm. Irrelevant. Anyone who doesn't make me nervous is clearly a bad sign."

"Did Betty Ross make you nervous?"

That's an unexpected blow, and it jolts Bruce out of his fugue state. "Sometimes," he says shortly. "But mostly, no. And I didn't make her nervous. Her mistake. She's better off elsewhere, getting on with her work. We made that choice together." Just in case Tony is winding up to mistake himself and Pepper for Bruce and Betty.

But Tony just nods. "But you're totally aware that I'm hitting on you."

"You have terrible taste." Bruce realizes it will sound painfully self-deprecating. He doesn't care.

"I know," Tony says. His smile looks pained. "I have a horrific track record. Worse than you've heard."

Bruce has probably heard more than Tony thinks.

"Pepper was the best one," Tony says, "and look what a fucking mess that was. There's Rhodey, of course. He probably told you."

"Mm." Bruce could have guessed.

"And Obadiah Stane. I killed him," Tony says. "And he was like a father to me." His mouth twists oddly as if that's not quite right, but Bruce is too annoyed to care.

"I did something like that once," Bruce says.

Tony looks at him and frowns. "I'm sorry," he says. "I'm an asshole." He gets up and goes to his lab.

*

Bruce doesn't see Tony for another two days. He does see Pepper, off and on. She looks less pale, and Bruce is happy for her. She's worried about Tony, though, as anyone could see. One afternoon she comes to Bruce's lab.

"Hey," she says. "Am I interrupting, doctor?"

"Call me Bruce," he mutters. Everyone is always interrupting, so it doesn't matter if she does.

She nods. "Bruce. How's Tony doing?"

Bruce is definitely past the point of caring about people only being interested in Tony. Besides, he knows Pepper well enough by now to tell that she's mostly here to check up on him.

"All right," he says cautiously. "I think. I haven't seen him much. If it's any consolation, I think you did the right thing."

Pepper gives a little disappointed shrug. "I know I did. But I was hoping you wouldn't think so." Her mouth goes flat, like a belated apology for saying anything.

"Oh, God," Bruce says. "You don't think he's _actually_ interested in me, do you? I mean, he always--"

"He always," Pepper says. "Usually because he means it too much."

"But he's in love with you," Bruce says. It feels like a stupid complaint.

Pepper sighs. "There are always about six thousand things going on in Tony's head. It's not as if he can pick and choose, though. He's full of--" She waves her hand, a sharp, nervous gesture. "Short circuits. If I hadn't broken up with him, he probably never would have done anything but pretend to hit on you. Look, just promise me one thing."

"Sure," Bruce says uncomfortably.

She looks at him. "Just don't date him unless you're really sure you mean it."

*

Bruce tries to figure out if he means it. The problem is, it never would have occurred to him as something that could really happen. He doesn't date. He certainly doesn't date since Betty. Whether he's interested in Tony is irrelevant.

But of course he's interested. Tony is a genius. He hates people almost as much as Bruce does. Bruce won't ever be afraid of breaking him.

But Tony is almost dangerous. He's violently unpredictable, an alcoholic, a narcissist. And worse than all of those, he can make Bruce forget to be angry. When they're working on a project together, Bruce can feel himself relaxing, slipping into that infuriating state where he's handing over control without meaning to--

And Bruce can't afford to ever hand over control to someone he can't trust. No one can control his other half.

*

But as usual, Bruce isn't the one calling the shots. As the weeks go by, Tony emerges from his workshop and begins to join in Bruce's work. Bruce doesn't even mind, which is the worst part. Tony is too smart. 

They're deep in the plans for something Bruce was almost certain wouldn't work when they started, but now he thinks it can. Tony's good at making people believe in the impossible. It's the perfect project for the two of them, because it's a perfect marriage of biology and engineering, a creation that will render Tony's clunky suit redundant and and make him just as effectively a superhero as any other member of their cohort. Should they ever meet again.

Tony's been awake for almost forty-eight hours, and his eyes are too bright. They're in his basement workshop, where he's finally started allowing Bruce.

"Can you imagine?" He says. He's mostly talking to himself. "I could carry the suit around in my skin, if this works. What would that feel, like, having that much power concealed just--" He stops, blinks, and laughs. "What the hell's wrong with me? I'm a dick. I'm sorry. I can't stop doing that."

Bruce sighs. "At least you know you're doing it."

Tony nods. "I'll be more careful. Just trying to fuel your eternal rage."

"You don't know how much I need that," Bruce says truthfully.

Tony stares at him for a second, then just says, "Pass me that blueprint."

Bruce does it, his hand moving practically of its own accord. Tony is in charge, and Bruce can feel that dangerous peaceful feeling settling in.

"Fuck," he whispers. His fingers brush Tony's when he hands over the blueprint.

Tony doesn't move his hand. He looks up at Bruce, breathing fast. "So, hey."

"Hey," Bruce mutters.

Tony grabs Bruce's collar and pulls him down into a kiss.

It only takes Bruce a second to pull back. "This is a huge mistake," he says numbly. "I'm going to bed."

He leaves, but he doesn't sleep. The next day, Tony doesn't mention it. Of course.

*

In the weeks after that, they have several more of what Bruce thinks of as near-misses. Tony, he thinks, is pushing him. Seeing what he can get away with. He touches Bruce almost constantly, fingers drumming on Bruce's shoulder while they work, arm brushing Bruce's, knee knocking against his. Once, when Tony is getting up from their work to go to bed, he drops a kiss to the back of Bruce's neck.

Bruce wants to tell him how _dangerous_ it is.

Finally, one night around nine o'clock, they're together in one of Tony's living rooms. They're not working, and Tony, as per Bruce's request, is not drinking.

"So, about the elephant in the room," Tony says.

Bruce laughs, and after a second, Tony joins in.

"Elephants," Tony agrees. "One big and green, the other--my Hulk." He winces. "Sorry. Not actually very metaphorically appropriate. But they're two big obstacles in the path to the fantastic sex we could be having, right?"

At this point, Bruce thinks it would be boring and pointless to deny that he really, really does want to be sleeping with Tony. "I don't know," he says slowly. He has to go carefully. Tony's feelings are easily hurt.

Tony grins, blindingly, deceptively. "So, ever slept with a man?"

"No," Bruce says, not missing a beat.

"Every slept with a trans man?"

This time Bruce misses two beats and immediately feels bad about it. "I just told you," he says. "I've never slept with a man."

"Sorry," Tony says. "Kind of a mean trick question."

"I don't know," Bruce says, "I don't think screening for assholes counts as a trick question. But don't worry, I'm not exclusively attracted to women. Every slept with a monster?"

Tony expression doesn't change. "Yes."

Bruce swallows. "I trust you," he says. "And I like you. I didn't expect either of those things. Tony, I can't--You know what happens when my heart-rate gets too high. And I can't maintain the right kind of anger the whole time we're having sex. I can't stay in control."

Tony sighs. He looks suddenly as tired as he probably is. "Yeah. So you've never--? Not since the other guy showed up?"

"Hulk," Bruce makes himself say. He hasn't said the name in a while. "And no. I have. Betty and I found a way." He blushes. This is horrible. This is so far from what he's ever wanted to talk about. But he promised himself--and several other people--that he'd try to be less of a hermit.

Tony looks intensely curious. To his credit, he says, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want."

Bruce doesn't want, but he does want Tony. He says, very quickly and under his breath, "If I'm in the right head-space, if someone _else_ has control, I don't lose it."

Tony's eyebrows go up. "Meaning . . . ?"

"Meaning," Bruce says, looking at the wall, "if Betty could--put me out of it well enough, my heart-rate didn't go up. Just. Orders. The right kind of touch."

"Oh, is that all?" Tony says cheerfully, rubbing his hands together. "Subspace is fun! I've never actually done it from the other side, but I'm pretty much willing to try anything." He grins. "The tabloids don't _only_ lie."

Bruce can't imagine Tony being the same kind of _sub_ he is (and Bruce would never use the word), but at least Tony isn't looking at him like he's an alien. "Want to try it?" he asks.

*

The first time is a disaster. They're both in boxers and t-shirts, sitting on Tony's (huge) bed. Neither of them particularly wants to be naked, Bruce because they don't know each other well enough, Tony probably because they're not strangers.

"We should probably start with a kiss," Tony says.

Bruce doesn't especially care for kissing, and especially kissing people with beards, but he says, "All right."

Bruce is nervous, but it doesn't matter, because Tony isn't. Tony is absolutely sure of himself, or at least he's good enough at pretending that he can fool Bruce into relaxing.

Tony's fingers touch the back of Bruce's head, sliding through his hair, stroking the base of his skull gently. Bruce can feel himself slipping already.

"Good," he mutters. "Hey, should we--Maybe a safeword?"

Tony shrugs. "I've never used one. We could just do something simple. Red for stop."

Bruce frowns. "Red. No, let's not."

Tony laughs shortly. "Green?"

"Green," Bruce agrees, wincing.

They're fine until Bruce pushes Tony's t-shirt up and Tony goes rigid with tension and his control starts to slip and so does Bruce's--

"Green," Bruce says, pulling back.

*

"Hey," Tony says at breakfast the next day, "I brought a checklist. Scientific experimentation at its finest. I want you to mark the ones you're into."

He isn't even blushing. Bruce doesn't know how he does it. He takes the list from Tony and looks over it, stopping to put marks next to one or two things. "I haven't even heard of some of these," he says flatly.

Tony chuckles. "I've done most of 'em." He leans over Bruce's shoulder to look. "So, no hitting?"

Bruce shakes his head. "I'm not that kind of, uh, sub. It just makes me angry, and not in a way I can control." There's just a fraction of a second too much pause. "I can go under without that." He looks up and meets Tony's eyes. "You should give me one of these. I want to know where I can touch you."

"Anywhere," Tony says immediately. Then, "Wait, honestly, I can give you a list."

Bruce is surprised that Tony trusts him even that much.

*

The next time is better.

Tony, because he can keep a dozen different things in his head at once, doesn't seem to be thinking hard about the list Bruce gave him, but he's doing everything right. He tugs Bruce's hair gently, pushes him down, pins him, scrapes his nails over Bruce's chest while quietly murmuring commands.

Bruce's eyes fall shut. "Better," he murmurs. "Better." He can feel the bubble of almost drugged calm growing, both him and Hulk.

Tony grins. "I love solving problems." He's still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and he's crouched next to Bruce on the bed. "

"Solve me, then," Bruce mutters.

Tony does, at least for an hour or so. His hands are quick and they don't falter, and Bruce slips easily into the tingling, half-conscious state he'd almost forgotten about. Tony lets everything build slowly, until finally Bruce is whimpering, spread out naked under Tony, eyes shut, panting. He feels half removed from his body, and his pulse isn't racing.

*

The next morning, they have breakfast together. Tony is quiet, in sort of a pleased, puzzled way. Bruce just feels awash with relief. He doesn't want to leap ahead, but he'd been afraid of never finding another person who he could sleep with. It's a small concern, in his world full of large ones, but it's been worrying him.

"So, what next?" he asks, watching Tony drink what might be a protein shake.

Tony grins at him and shrugs. "We wait for Fury to call us. And we keep having great sex. Right?"

That sounds too easy, but Bruce can't figure out how, so he just agrees.


End file.
